Welding

Bethany summer 1997

        Bethany was two years old the summer of '97, a couple of months shy of her third birthday. She is the daughter of my brother, Eric, and his wife, Michelle. Bethany has two brothers, and the family was living in Cheektowaga, a suburb of Buffalo, New York at that time.

      In the summer of '97, my two daughters and I drove to Western, New York so I could finally show my girls the places of my youth and my stories, to show off the sites of Buffalo and Niagara Falls, and to introduce them to friends and relatives they had until then only heard me talk about.

     On one of the days of our stay, the girls and I went with Eric and his kids to Griffis Park. It is south of the city, and even a bit south of our hometown of North Boston. The park is spread over several acres and is strewn with sculptures by Larry Griffis - all works of welded art.

     In the woods are giant insects. In the fields - all kinds of animals, objects that looked to be from outer space, planes, towers, things that kids could climb on and play around for hours. The pond has cranes, flamingos, gods and goddesses. Atop a ridge, the three Magi are on their journey. And along one trail one finds an Amazon woman, huge and naked. What a delightful morning we had – and the park was all to ourselves as it was a weekday, and we were apparently the only folks on vacation!

     Then it began to rain.

We returned to Eric's SUV – we kind of had to get away from metal sculptures in case of lightning! And it was while we huddled at the car Bethany announced she had to go to the bathroom.

     There were no facilities about.

     We suggested she could just go in the woods.

     Being only two, Bethany was unaware of the concept of peeing in the woods. And once it was explained, she was not at all sold on the idea.

     The rain let up a little, and I decided to show Bethany by example how peeing in the woods was done.

     We held hands and walked to a secluded spot.

     I peed in the woods.

     Then Bethany peed in the woods.

     As we walked back to the car, with raindrops dripping on us from leaves on the trees, I rose in my niece's esteem, and from that moment and forever after, I have been Bethany's Cool Aunt Den!

     On another day during our stay, the girls and I and Eric and his kids, and my brother, Clark, who had arrived from New York City, had a picnic in Ft. Erie, Ontario within sight of the Peace Bridge.

     The Peace Bridge spans the Niagara River from Buffalo to Ft. Erie Canada – so it is international, and the bridge plays a significant role in several of our family history stories. Thus it was special for us to have the bridge in our view that day. And as we ate and took pictures and the kids played, I announced that when we were ready to go back, I wanted to walk across the Peace Bridge into the U.S.

     You see, a very brief version of one of our family stories is that when our grandparents got married, they moved from Canada to Buffalo. Two years later, in 1927, my grandmother was going to have their first child. And she wanted the baby to be born in Canada so as to be a Canadian citizen. My grandfather drove her over the Peace Bridge to St. Catherine's, Ontario where my grandmother stayed with her mother until the baby was born – our Uncle John. A few days later, she returned to the Peace Bridge. She was worried about taking a newborn baby over a national border in a vehicle – it might look suspicious. So she was not in a car. My grandmother was on foot, with no luggage, only a stroller and her days-old son. She told the border guards she was going to see friends in Buffalo for the afternoon and would be returning before dark. I guess that was not suspicious, because the guards let her go. Our grandmother then walked over the Peace Bridge from Canada to the U.S., pushing a stroller with her baby strapped in. And that is how my Uncle John was smuggled into this country!

     I've always loved the image of my grandmother walking across the Peace Bridge, and that's why I wanted to walk over the bridge myself that summer's day.

     When the kids heard what I was going to do, they said they wanted to walk with me! And Bethany, being only two, happened to have her stroller with her. We strapped her in!

     That is how, seventy years after it first happened, my grandmother's walk was kind of re-enacted, with five of her great-grandchildren and one of her goofy grand-daughters walking over the Peace Bridge from Canada to the U.S., with a stroller!

Bethany and Nick summer of 2017 on the Chautauqua Belle

     Fast forward to this summer, 2020, twenty-three years later. All of my grandmother's great-grandchildren are now grown up. And Bethany is engaged to be married. She lives and works in Western New York, and her husband-to-be is a fine young man named Nick. The particulars for the wedding and reception have been in the works for a couple of years now. In fact, last summer they called me here in Georgia and asked if I would perform the wedding ceremony for them! It's not like I have ever officiated a wedding before, (I haven't!) but they wanted Cool Aunt Den to give them a cool ceremony. Of course I said yes.

     But the thing is, the wedding was scheduled for August 8, 2020. And we all know that this summer is unlike any summer ever before. Everything has changed, and because of the pandemic, gatherings are not happening. Schools, theaters, churches are closed. Concerts and annual festivals are canceled. And weddings with big receptions have been postponed.

how cool is this?!

     Bethany and Nick's arrangements are now scheduled for August 8^th of 2021, if gatherings are allowed again by then. But the couple still wants to be officially married on August 8^th of this year. And right now, groups of 25 can get together with significant social distancing. So arrangements have been made for Eric's backyard to host immediate family and a few friends up to 25 in number to be in attendance for Bethany and Nick's nuptials.

     As they were discussing the details about a month ago, Nick asked, “Your Aunt Den will still do the ceremony, won't she?”

     Aw, Nick had asked!

    They called. I told them I'd be there! I already had my certification – turns out it does not take much to be an officiate! I checked with the rules for their county – I was good to go.

     Except, we all know what has happened since then. The epidemic has gotten worse. And one day last week, Governor Cuomo put Georgians on the list of people who are not allowed to cross New York State's borders. That night I was reluctantly relieved of my wedding-ceremony-conducting duties. Someone else will be marrying them.

     Bethany and Nick invited me to come next August, and they would like me to conduct the renewal of their vows before the big reception. It will be like a re-enactment. Sort of re-enactments are what we do. And I will be honored.

Bethany March 2012 - that's my hand on her shoulder!

     Dear Bethany, one day your cool Aunt Den taught a child how to pee in the woods, and the rewards since then have come back a thousand-fold!

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